Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You smell like stripper and shame
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the day after is always just damage control
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
ok first of all what the fuck
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
