im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
