He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
