The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
