Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
