She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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