I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
