i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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