Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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