Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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