Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
