I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.