I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.