Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
