Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize