...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
