On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
