He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
