i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
