i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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