I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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