I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My vagina is officially offended.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
