fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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