Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
