I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
