I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
