i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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