i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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