He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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