small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
