i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
