You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
