k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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