At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dignity is for republicans.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
