i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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