how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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