The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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