Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
