It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize