Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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