i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
