Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
