Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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