Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
