but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
