This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
