Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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