dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
