If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
