just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She just used a chaser for red wine.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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