Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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