I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
