i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize