Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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