420 ftw
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
