Best friends brother. Beat that.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
