areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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