singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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