I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
