Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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