I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
