Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
