before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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