Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
